Monday, January 14, 2008

34: Virtual Insanity

I'm giving all my love to this world.

I have the perfect man. He calls me a lot, leaves me sweet messages, is very attractive, attentive, affectionate, popular, friendly, and my mom likes him. But I don't want him. Something in my nature will not allow me to be satisfied. Apparently I would rather constantly strive for the unattainable. But I guess that's a good feature to have in the long run. If Bob Dylan was happy spinning pizza dough (sure, why not?), I'd have no fool to listen to.

Or maybe it's that I have just been so badly damaged that I don't know what I want anymore. Maybe I don't want Prince Charming yet. Maybe I want to be bruised a little bit more. It would be better than putting my trust in someone and then choking to death on my own proclaimed regrets (like an emo).

Loving sucks but Trusting is so much harder.


1 comment:

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