There's this guy who really likes me. He's such a sweet guy and so nice, and he's good friends with my best friend. But, and there's always a but, I don't think I want a relationship. At least one with someone here. I guess I'll have to wait till I go back to school, but even then, finding a prospective boyfriend in college is like winning the lottery. I'm too picky.
I had an epiphany today. I don't believe in love. I believe in attachment. That's why women's hearts get shattered, and men's dented. Men don't get attached very easily. Months ago that I decided I wouldn't get attached anymore; that I wouldn't trust anyone anymore. It's just safer. I've learned to build a shell around myself so I don't get hurt. If you don't take anything as yours, you have nothing to lose. You only live for yourself and and you only have yourself to depend on.
The last time I cried was about a month after my last ex and I broke up. I got involved with a different ex one night when I believed I was still in love with the the other. When it was over I went to my best friends house. It was about 4 am. I walked in, sat down on the bed, and without saying anything, I started crying.
I don't cry over anything anymore.
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